Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
