Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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