ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
