dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You smell like stripper and shame
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
