so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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