Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
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Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
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The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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