Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
