i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
