Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
