I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
