omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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