Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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