A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
