Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
