so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
