kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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