Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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