U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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