My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
