I didn't shave. On purpose
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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