sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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