people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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