Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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