Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
