Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize