Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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