jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
