just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
