As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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