Dual....:-)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
True college students do jello shots in the library
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
