Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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