I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My balls are so social today.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
