I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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