You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to have your abortion
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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