I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
