when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
