why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
