You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
