I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize