i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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