And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
