So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
