I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
