I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
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most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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