How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
