I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
