summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
