I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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