i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
