Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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