You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
