so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
