This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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