coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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