He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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