Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize