Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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