Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
