I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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