in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
