It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
