we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize