Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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