i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
