this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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