just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
